Trip Report - First Timers (2024)

We just got back from our first trip. We stayed 9 days (May 28 - June 5th). I would say that I’ll try to keep it short, but that would be a lie.

Transportation:
We took everyone’s advice and used USA Transfers. It was a very smooth process and the drivers were friendly. On the way to the hotel, our driver even obliged our request to go through the hotel zone, so we could see that area, which added about 10 min to our trip. Also learned that pedestrians don’t have the right of way in Mexico. In the US, we have walk signals, down there they have a picture of a person running ‍♀️. Now we know why, make sure you’re out of the street before it counts down to zero or your trip will not end well...

Check in:
This was not a good start to our trip. Once we got our bracelets, they dumped us off on a premier salesman and he took us over to his desk. Having read other reviews, I knew what was coming and politely declined the presentation. We were wanting to just get down to the pool after 11 hours of traveling. He was pissed and just turned around and walked away after a few attempts. We went back down to ask where our luggage went and they pointed to some guy to give our ticket to. He showed us the elevators and said he would be up in a few minutes. After sitting in our room for 15 min waiting, I went back down to ask if I could just get them myself. The gentleman who I spoke with sincerely apologized and said he would bring them right up for me. He was great, I wish that I remembered his name. He brought them right up and then took the time to show us how everything worked in the room and asked if we needed anything.

Sexy Pool:
Pretty sure we spent 75% of our waking hours here. This is the life of the resort and where we met so many awesome people. Most people use the chairs for storage vs. laying out. They should probably just put a bank of cubbies down there for people to use for that to free up more chairs. If you haven’t met anyone yet, just get 8 shots of something and pass them around. Great conversation starter (right, Josh?). Bar tenders were great, after a couple of days, Javier would just bring over my wife and I’s drinks if he saw one of us up there. The playmakers were fun and kept the energy going throughout the day. I would say, don’t volunteer for any of their activities until you’ve watched a couple of them and the consequences for losing and make sure you’re okay with that. The pool volleyball was a ton of fun. Everyone there was super nice. I feel like we should all have our names, where we are from and when we’re leaving on some sort of name tag, since those are the most repeatedly asked questions lol. We are a vanilla couple and felt no pressure from the lifestyle couples that we hung out with (and we hung out with a lot of them during our trip). We are so vanilla, that my wife hadn’t even kissed another woman before. Yes, I just used the past tense there, which brings me to the foam party. So enough shots, foam, thumping music and hot, topless women and all of a sudden, I see my wife making out with another woman. Five minutes later there are 3 of them all making out together. Pretty sure I died and went to heaven. They should have a foam party every day.

Bash:
Overall bash was fun. My wife made out with some super hot Ukrainian woman that she was dancing with (starting to see a pattern here?) and then couldn’t stop talking about it the next morning. Theme night participation ranged from about 25-75%. I think the placement of the stage was a mistake. It cuts the party in half and most people are reluctant to go up and dance on a raised platform vs. if it was a flat open dance floor. Lesson learned for future theme night costumes; less is better. Not only for the sexy aspect, but for those of us that come from cooler states, it will keep you from getting too hot. My wife and I did Black Widow and Hawkeye for super heroes night and I was dying after an hour. The shows were mostly entertaining, so we went down for quite a few of them. It was laid back and a lot of fun and we made it a point to make it down there every night.

Boobs Cruise:
I will just say that this isn’t for the timid and if you heard a rumor about something, it was probably true lol. It was a lot of fun and yes, my wife found a woman to make out with! Unfortunately, my wife found out the hard way that she doesn’t do well with lots of alcohol and a rocking boat after about 30 min, so I spent about 5 hours with her napping on my lap. Here is what sets TTR people apart from a lot of other groups; between the other couples there and the boat crew, about half of them came over to check on her periodically and to make sure that I didn’t need anything (Huge thanks to Steve, Jannet and Chris for the extra help when we got to Isla). Instead of being annoyed that someone got sick, everyone was pretty compassionate about it. I was impressed.

Room:
We stayed in a Lush room. It could use some extra storage. The “hot tub” is an oversized bathtub with jets. We were on the 3rd floor, so no view of bash or the pool, but a good view of the ocean. The bed and pillows were comfortable. The TV, which has the hotel info, also has a map on there if you can’t remember where something is. The floors are a death trap if there is any water on them. We made it a whole week without any serious accidents, but on our last full day, I hit some water and took a hard fall and mildly sprained both of my wrists (could hardly hold a beer can that night), but at least I saved my head from hitting the floor and didn’t break anything.
***The A/C is tied to a sensor in the sliding door. If it is open, the A/C will not kick on and if you’re having too much fun in your room, the whole place will be covered in condensation within an hour.

Food:
Sky Bar absolutely had the best food. The shrimp tacos were to die for (thank you for telling us about them, Sarah!) and everything else we tried was delicious. It’s also a great view from up there while you eat. I don’t think we ever saw more than 10 people up there at once.

Sea Flirt had the best breakfast (and has a perfect ocean view while you eat). Their dinner was good, but the portions are tiny. Flame actually had a better seafood menu.

Rain was hit or miss when we tried it (mostly miss).

Sutra had some good dishes, but the sushi was pretty bad (like gas station sushi, bad).

Flame has the best calamari appetizer with a great tartar sauce. If you like octopus, they grill it perfectly. We ate here a few nights, because the seafood was so good and their salmon was actually a real portion size. We did not hear good things about the steaks, but didn’t try them ourselves.

We had free room service in the tower, so we used it if we were too wiped out to go out for breakfast. Most of the food was decent and still warm. We had a lot of issues with the orders being accurate, but it wasn’t the end of the world. The coffee in the room tastes like watered down goat piss, the room service coffee tastes pretty decent.

Miscellaneous:

Working in banking, out of curiosity, I watched the exchange rates at different places while we were there and as expected, they weren’t very good. I asked a few of the employees about this and if they would rather be tipped in dollars or pesos. After getting through the “we’re happy with either” answers (which they really genuinely meant), I got that they would rather have pesos, given the choice. Speaking of which, we couldn’t believe how kind and genuine all of staff members were (well, everyone that doesn’t work in the lobby) and how appreciative they were for any tips they got. It made me curious what minimum wage was in Mexico, so I looked it up and it’s about $6 a day. Not sure what they pay them at the resort, but I made sure to tip really well when we got really good service.

If you take a taxi anywhere, just agree the price before you get in.

What makes this place great is the people. The first 6 days had an awesome crowd. Everyone was laid back and respectful. I didn’t even worry about my wife walking topless to the bathroom alone down at the pool. Then douchebag central happened. There were about 6 problem single guys that showed up and pretty much ruined the entire vibe. One of them kept trying to put his hand up women’s skirts and getting pushed away. Someone let security know (since we were told not to take care of it ourselves or we would end up in a Mexican jail), but they didn’t do sh*t about it. That kind of sh*t should get you 86ed right then and there. Another douche was running around with an umbrella trying to hit on guys’ wives every time they went to the bar and was getting pushed away. Again, security spoke with him a couple of times, but it didn’t stop him. We decided to call it an early night, so that I didn’t end up in Mexican jail. They pretty much ruined the vibe in the pool the next day, but at least it’s big enough that we could just hang out on the opposite side as them.

The first week was the best vacation of our life. It’s like summer camp as a kid. You meet all of these new friends and then a week later you have to go home against your will.

We already miss all of our new friends that we made and can’t wait to go back!

Trip Report - First Timers (2024)
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